Sneaking in some writing time at work because I need a little breather from the demands and requests of our clients. (naughty naughty)
I woke up this morning by the ringing of my alarm, which we already know I hate. I don’t remember going to sleep because I looked at my clock at 2:00 AM and decided I wouldn’t be able to wake back up in 3 hours so might as well pull an all nighter…. But that didn’t happen.
Anyways, with little sleep and much grogginess, I woke up with such a new freedom.
I have been preparing my spirit and my heart for this day, the last day of this stinkin year.
Let’s reflect together.
My 2015 started off on a high and I preached for the first time on January 18th. Such a great experience being able to prepare and dive deeper in God. My favorite part was learning that whatever you’re preaching on is exactly what God ministers to your heart. For example, I talked about forgiveness and that whole week before, God reminded me of things I needed to let go of and people I needed to forgive.
2 weeks after this high, my life slowly spiraled down and the funny thing is that not many knew how messy my life had become, maybe only a handful.
Not many details are needed to understand that I entered a desert, one, which I put myself in, and one that I chose to stay in. Despite the many talks my mentors took time to have, despite prayer, despite His presence, I chose to continue in my mess and run from freedom and healing. It’s crazy now that I reflect because I don’t understand how any of it happened. I wasn’t ready to defend myself and my guards were down for the first time in my entire life so I was knocked down to the very bottom.
From the moment I heard about a man named Jesus (7th grade) and all through high school, I worked hard to overcome pain. To overcome anger. Just to overcome.
And I can’t believe that I was in a place where I submerged myself back into all these things God himself took me out of.
Long story short, the desert continued. I ran and ran and ran and ran only to find myself still in the middle, bound and surrounded by my biggest fears.
Finally, Revive launched. And I knew I had no choice but to fight for myself because I did not want to lose what I had worked so hard to gain.
And months of fighting, here I am today, standing strong.
Back on my feet and I couldn’t be more excited.
Maybe my perspective is a bit dramatic and I see everything different, but life is a little more fun that way 😉
I woke up this morning with the sound of bells.
The sound of bells which for me signify freedom.
This freakin year is finally over and I don’t have to hold onto anything I do not desire. I don’t have to bring anything along that brought me chaos and pain.
I also don’t have to carry heartache and offenses because I have too many dreams and goals to be worried about who hurt my feelings.
I ‘ve been reading Joshua a lot. I believe this is my message for this next year. Trusting in God, trusting that He has placed me to lead His people, my generation, and having a faith so strong in Him, that nothing else distracts my journey.
Be encouraged because this is an end but also a beginning. The heartaches and failures of this year, happened and it’s done with.
New year, new victories. For we know from glory to glory we go.
Here’s to a magical new beginning! ❤
Forever dancing in His love,