Taking Care of Your Heart Pt. 1

HI FRIENDS! I wanted to share my heart, give an update on life these past 6 months, and a few tips on taking care of your heart.

My life has changed DRASTICALLY in the last 8 months and I am in such a beautiful season! I got a big girl job and work 8-5, which I said I would never do but strangely, I LOVE it lol I am also officially dating someone, the sweetest person ever (more blogs on that later) and I have plugged myself into a new home #ILOVEHTX

Anyways, life is pretty great right now! And I’m so thankful for this season and trying to soak it ALL in.

I have gotten way better at taking care of myself and I think this is something so many of us struggle with so I thought I would share what I have been working on. I’m sharing the ideas over 5 posts as a mini series for the blogs. I hope you enjoy & let me know if you would like more of these types of series.

Treat yourself
Prayer + Word
Rest
Guarding your heart + your peace
Soaking

The older I get and the more that I want to just make sure my heart is healthy. My inner peace has become one of the dearest things to me and something I intentionally look after. I used to let everything and everyone in and out of my life regardless of how good or bad, or anxious it made me. And although I am still learning how to filter through situations and people, I have gotten way better at guarding my peace.

Over the last few months, I decided I wanted to be someone who people like being around, someone who speaks life because I really do believe in people not just because it’s what we’re “supposed to do”. I wanted to be full of confidence, full of love. And I believe the only way to really live this out is to be at peace with yourself and your world. We cannot offer anyone else anything if we ourselves are empty. And even more so, we cannot offer anything healthy, if we aren’t taking care of ourselves – mind, body, and spirit.

One of the things I love doing is treating myself (sometimes a little too much LOL). Weeks and days can speed by without me even getting a chance to catch my breath until I’m exhausted because how the heck are we already in July?!? I learned in my previous season that I burned myself out at 23 years old because I was constantly giving to the wrong people, sowing into the wrong situations, and never made time for myself. I am still in the process of learning of ways to take care of myself but here are a few of the things I enjoy:

I love dancing! ( ya know, dancing in your love lol?) Dancing makes me happy, it’s a good workout and a good time! I try to go dancing at least once a month or try to take classes every few months. One of my major goals this month is to go to more classes. You can find easy $10 classes around the city or simply go for a night out in town and dance the night away.
I love facemasks and little spa days. There are many different options from target and ulta that I love to purchase. I would just recommend really knowing your skin and how it reacts to certain products before going all out. My face is really sensitive so I have to be careful what I use. I’ve also created natural face masks that I found on pinterest.
Treat yourself to a Mani/Pedi. This is one of my favorite things to do because my life is together when my nails are done and perfect. It doesn’t even have to be expensive or even at a salon! Look up at home Manis, play some tunes, and relax while you hook yourself up!
Treating yourself to a…. treat. In this generation of perfect bodies, health diets, workout regimes, and more, sometimes it’s nice to treat yourself to something sweet. Buy the cookie, have some ice cream, enjoy that snack that you think about all day!

I had the opportunity of visiting Essential Body Bar this past weekend and it was such a relaxing experience. In the center of downtown, this spa is in a cute little house that was turned into a relaxing spa. As soon as you walk in, Letrice, the owner is very welcoming and so is the decor and ambiance.

I had a Microdermabrasion and a Swedish massage.

I had never had a MD done and I was really nervous about it because my face is very sensitive but I was actually able to relax because Sarah explained everything before she did it and there is a mini facial before the actual treatment began.

The treatment itself is not painful. The tool exfoliates and has a suction tip that helps clean/unclog your pores. And it left my face smooth the rest of the day without any noticeable redness or bruising. Today my face is a little dry but I expected it. Nothing a little moisturizer can’t fix!

The Swedish massage was very light pressure and very relaxing. Sometimes, the massage therapists apply too much pressure and i’m always WAY too shy to say something but this was the perfect Swedish massage. I had never tried hot stones and they were so so so relaxing. The massage therapist was also very professional and explained everything he was doing.

Essential body bar formulates their own products and use a lot of essential oils that help you relax during your services. Lavender is probably one of my favorite oils.

I would definitely recommend treating yourself to one of the services, it is definitely worth a little self care and the prices are very affordable.

In order to offer the world the very best version of you, you have to be the best version for YOU. The world needs what you have to offer and there are only people YOU can reach so be intentionally about taking care of and treating yourself.

XX,

Dancing in His love

Leslie Tatiana

I Failed in 4 Days

And just like that the first week of 2018 is over and we begin a new one.

If you are anything like me, AKA human, the first week didn’t go as planned. I had all these great plans and goals and an atmosphere that I wanted to set for this year… but somewhere in the middle of the week, I failed. I failed so bad.

And it sucks.

I worked out one day. I read my bible 3 out of 6 days.

My room is a mess, like an earthquake named Leslie happened.

I hurt a really dear friend.

Like is it possible to mess everything up in a matter of 4 days?! Because I did.

But I learned something.

What happens when it’s a new beginning, but you are still the same person you were in the last chapter? With the same habits, the same past, the same fears, the same same same!?

YOU FREAKIN FIGHT ANYWAYS.

I will admit that I was discouraged for a bit. I felt like the rest of the year was going to suck. And I’m dramatic so then I wanted it to be December 31st, 2018 so I could be in 2019 LOL I thought my world was crushed and that I had really done it this time.

but then I was reminded of God and His mercies. And let me tell you, I am so so thankful that they are new every morning. I don’t ever want to be someone who abuses the grace that God so freely showers us with, but because I am so dramatic and such an over thinker, and grew up with an overly strict step dad, I have to remind myself that I AM HUMAN AND I WILL NOT ALWAYS GET IT RIGHT. So I showered, got dolled up, and kept going and working towards my dreams.

I caught up in my daily bible reading, starting cleaning (started because seriously don’t know how I made that much of a mess LOL)

We will never advance if we stop moving forward every time we make a mistake or trip up a little. It is bound to happen because we are human and can only do so much ya know? But what matters is how you continue in the process. The small steps that you take make all the difference.

I was so afraid to make a list of goals I wanted to accomplish. I didn’t wanna dream big for DYL and fail. I didn’t want to say that I would read daily and then miss a few days and feel horrible and lost.

But in order to enter a new season, YOU have to actually enter it.

You, being, the messy, confused, loud, shy, scared, annoying, sensitive you. And while you walk out your new season, you can turn back and see the progress you have made.

So if your week was anything like mine, I want to encourage you: KEEP ON KEEPIN ON!

Take a deep breath, relax, remind yourself that you are human and you are doing the best you can. Refocus, rewrite your goals, and start again. We don’t need a whole new year to start all over. Everyday is a fresh opportunity to make better choices and to take tiny little steps towards your destiny.

KEEP MOVING. KEEP FIGHTING. KEEP STRIVING. KEEP DREAMING.

The best is yet to come and even though we screwed up, we still have 51 weeks to go and it’s not over yet!

I believe in you, I believe in His plans for you.

Lets get it!

Dancing In His Love,

Leslie Tatiana

2018: Restoration

HAPPY NEW YEAR! I hope you celebrated in the way that you desired! Whether it was in PJ’s, in sparkles, a suit, or dancing the night away.

I spent the night with my family and close friends and it was everything I hoped it could be. Anytime I can dress up, dance, and be with loved ones- I’m game!

I have been reflecting on 2017 all day and continuing to ponder on my vision for 2018.

And in all honesty, I was a bit overwhelmed today.

My heart has been processing all the loss that I had in the previous year and I began to miss people, miss moments, miss things. And you know, I don’t think this is a bad thing. So often we are taught to refocus when you think of the past, that friendship, or that ex. But I think we would be mentally stronger, more honest, and better off if we allowed ourselves to process the meaning of these feelings and thoughts when they happen.

I am not saying to dwell on it, and to listen to Adele… or to go look at pictures or stalk them on social media LOL but really…. Ask yourself, why am I thinking about this? Why am I missing them? What caused this today?

And here is what I discovered when I answered these questions today.

I am at peace with all the decisions I have made this year, at peace with all the things I have walked away from.

But 2018 terrifies me.

I am so afraid to screw it all up, to have a “lowest of lows” year, to stray off the path the Lord has set before me. And because of that, I began to think about this past year.

It’s so easy to miss the ~~old~~ because there is no surprise in it. You know the in’s and out’s of that environment, of that relationship, even of those habits you hate. It’s like you can almost bet on what will happen next and how it will happen, you can probably go all in and win.

And right now, everything is SO new to me that I am unsure of what comes next.

And for a control freak like me?!? Yeah, no.

But there are a few things I know for sure.

The Lord… His plans are so good, and I don’t need to worry about what is to come because I am 100% sure it will be good.

Also…. Fear will not and cannot stop me from living this year. Although I am scared, I will do it afraid. I will continue to live my life without my past, knowing that it will be a good year, even if it’s not how I imagined it to be. Because on December 31st, 2018 I will still be standing, with my hands in the air, declaring that the Lord IS truly good!

I would like to share my word for this year with you.

I am not going to lie and tell you I fasted and prayed for weeks before the year was over to hear from God what He was speaking over 2018 lol not quite

That is just not how I do things (at least not right now because I am not that disciplined, yet LOL) But I do hear from God and I had a word that was resonating in my spirit over the last few days of the year and I am sharing it to remind myself and you the power of God.

RESTORATION.

: an act of restoring or the condition of being restored: such as
a : a bringing back to a former position or condition : reinstatement the restoration of peace
b : restitution
c : a restoring to an unimpaired or improved condition

I have lost (and gained) so much in previous years and especially in the last one. Some of that loss was mostly because of my own choices, which I will ALWAYS take full responsibility for… but it was also due to seasons, people, world events, LIFE.

For example, I lost a little faith in God. SO much happened in nature, in world news, in my own personal life, in my loved one’s lives… that there were many many many times I wanted to scream at God and ask Him, “what the heck man?!”

I also lost my vision for my life. I lost sight of what I am called to do.

And over the last few weeks, I have been dreaming and planning and receiving life into my heart.

But I truly believe this year, everything I have lost and everything I deliberately threw away will be restored. I know this one thing, and that is that God is faithful. The most faithful that I have ever known. Even when we aren’t.

And He takes every little thing possible and uses it in the GOOD plans that He has for us. I believe that He is the God who restores, and anything can be restored in Him.

Your faith, your hope, your health, your purity, your dreams, your relationships, your heart.

Nothing is wasted in Him and restoration is always possible.

Pray and ask the Lord to speak to you over your year. Your word or season may differ, but His hand is still over your life, just like it is in mine.

I can’t wait to write about the victories and losses this year and share them with you so you can be encouraged once again. I love reminding you that you are not alone, that we are more alike than you know. I will always be transparent and open when I can in order to bless you and bring you closer to the Lord and to your own dreams and visions.

Follow along as I testify of His goodness and His restoring Hand.

Here’s to dancing in His love another year,

XX,

Leslie

Entering A New Season

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Happy November!! I have been so busy enjoying my life these past three weeks that I haven’t had the time to sit and write, which I’m so excited about because

The #~~writersblock~~ is finally gone and
I am truly enjoying my life.

The first of the month always marks a significance for me. It’s a do over, a fresh start, a new season, a new time in God. And honestly… it is exactly where I am right now. I’m sure I could tell you a million stories and make this blog endless with all the things that I could tell you from these last few months, but I won’t. I’ll keep it straight to the point and maybe on another blog, I’ll break those stories down. But here’s the deal….

About 3 years ago, I was part of a church plant and God stirred up a fire in me and a vision and for the season, it was all I could think about and all I wanted to do.

A few months ago, I start feeling a nudge, a push from God to move away from my comfort zone and to take a leap of faith. I tend to be very impulsive but leaps of faith are not always my forte.

But I was not moving forward where I was at and I felt like the Lord wanted to do a new thing in me so I made the decision to venture out away from my church plant and follow where He was leading me.

My decision was based on many different things that I prefer not to share at the moment because I am still processing and God is still moving in my heart, (so maybe for another time) but the biggest thing that led me to make the decision was God and I am 100% confident that the work He began, He will walk with me and see me through it. Leaving a place of familiarity is always scary, but what’s ahead is always better than staying somewhere God is no longer calling you to be.

It’s a new season.

My heart has been eager for this season for over a year now and I finally made decisions to take care of myself.

You see, I am someone who selflessly puts others before myself and I am not ashamed to say that. I don’t mean it in a prideful way, it’s just truth. And because I am also someone who is an extremist, I usually don’t find middle ground in anything.

But it was time for me to put my needs before anyone else’s…. and I did that.

I needed to be honest with myself and realize that the bitterness, the anger, the confusion, the brokenness I had in my heart wasn’t going to be removed in the same environment where I picked these things up. It was time to take care of Leslie…. to remember what it meant to dance in God’s love… not in shame, condemnation, lack of faith, fear, or anything else hindering my dance with my favorite being, Jesus.

And as I’m being honest with myself, I will be honest with you. I have not been happy for 2 years. And I don’t think that’s how life should be lived. What an insult to myself and to my God to be unhappy for two years, wasting my potential and my breath…. but I’m finally free to say that out loud because I found the light at the end of that dark road.

Don’t get me wrong, I have had some great memories these past two years, but I can’t remember the last time I really enjoyed my seasons, my life. You can see the brokenness in my blog posts, which again, I am thankful for because my brokenness has blessed some of you because of the words I have been able to string together to explain not only the pain, but also the promise at the end of it.

I can truly tell you that this past month, I have been full of joy, full of life, full of hope.

And finally catching my breath.

I don’t feel the anxiety for the future….

the heaviness of my chest when that relationship ended.

The short breaths when I would stay awake trying to find a way from under the rubble that was holding me hostage between who I wanted to be and my current state in life.

The drenched sweats I would wake up to because my nightmares were constant.

And this is the reality of what the last 7 months have been for me.

This is the truth of what was going on inside. God was tugging at my heart and trying to move me from a season I had overstayed.

And as soon as I made the decision to free myself from it and look to God, my entire life changed.

I want to share with you what I did to step into a new season, very briefly and maybe there will be a part 2 with more details.

First,

You have to come first. You have to take care of you at all costs. Because when you take care of you and put yourself first, it may seem selfish, but it’s not.

When you are at your best, the world gets to enjoy that and have the best version of you.

For example, I was constantly putting others needs before my own by guarding, protecting, showing up to every event even when I was exhausted, staying quiet instead of speaking up, and who did that bless? Really no one because inside I was tired, bitter, angry, confused, annoyed, etc. And that’s what everyone around me received.

Second,

Do not take anything that is hindering you into your new season.

I let go of relationships & people who weren’t blessing my journey.

I let go of my old mindset that life was never going to get better, that the waves would always come ashore and crash the life I was building.

I let go of bitterness, realizing I am in control of my life. I make my choices. I decide how I want to live and the life I want to create and enjoy.

Third,

be humble enough to take advice from the right people.

I have surrounded myself with leaders, pastors, sisters in Christ who are going to challenge me, correct me, and guide me to be the best me I can be. These people walk with me despite my attitude that day, despite any unwise decision I made, and they encourage me with love and most importantly, truth.

Stepping into a new season after you have been bound for years is intimidating but I can tell you firsthand that the sound of freedom is real. A burden is lifted and your vision will be cleared.

You will hear the chains falling, new doors will be opened, and He shall be faithful to complete the work He began in you. And enjoying your life and taking control of it is worth losing a few things along the way, in my opinion.

“I wait quietly before God, for my victory comes from Him.” Psalms 62:1

Dancing in His love once again,

Leslie Tatiana ❤

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(P.S. Enjoy the new dress that launched on Mari Sabe. The cute sweater dress is true to size and so comfy!! Really enjoyed shooting this and being able to share it with all the ladies! You can shop for it directly here )

Hold Her Arms Up

It’s hard to believe that everyone has difficult seasons and that sometimes, life is not at all how you planned or hoped it would be. Everyone goes through it.

How do you react when it happens to you?

How do you react when it happens to someone else?

These last few months have been difficult for me. Which is why I haven’t written in a few weeks. It has been hard to find beauty in my mess, mostly because I was avoiding anything God related and anything life related. I wanted to live in my own world that didn’t include people, rules, words, expectations, responsibilities, anything at all. I always get to a specific door, where on the other side my destiny and my ministry await, but I get too scared to walk through so I stand at the window, looking in at what I could have and who I could be.

And today, I am finally at the crossroads where it’s time to make a decision.

I am either in. or I am out.

And both have consequences and sacrifices, but I have chosen to stay in the fight and be in.

Walking out this season, I have realized that I haven’t been myself. These last few weeks, maybe I was grumpy, or moody, or irresponsible, or rebellious, or aggressive, or restless, or anxious, or unsure, or sad, or mad, or confused.

And maybe all of them all at once.

And then, as I recollect, refocus, relight the fire… I have a glimpse of grace. Grace is when God chooses to take me back and love me anyway. Grace is God allowing me to feel His love and His presence, letting His word take my heart, my mind, and my thoughts captive so that my eyes can lock with His.

Grace is…. Him & I once more.

And then I think to myself…… wow, do I even do that for me?

And one step further, do I do that for others?

The answer is no. I judge myself and hold myself to a standard, which is not wrong, but it’s exhausting when I have my eyes on my own strength and not what He can do. I take myself out of the fight because I didn’t get it right the first time…… but what if this is the 10th time and I am still not getting it right? His strength, not mine.

And then to those around me…. I expect them to walk without failure, to be kind, to be present, to be available, to love me, to support me, to protect me. Yet, I haven’t quite figured out how to do all those things for myself, much less for others.

So here’s an apology. To myself, to you, and to God, I am sorry I haven’t extended grace and I am sorry that I have expected too much out of you. I get it. It is inevitable to make mistakes and miss the mark because we are humans.

Forgive me for not extending grace to you and to our battles. Each person fights their battles and feels like they’re drowning so I am sorry if I haven’t made that process easier for you.

And to God, my sweet sweet Jesus… Forgive me for taking this life for granted. For taking so long to lift my hands to worship and for standing outside the window, watching, instead of turning the knob and stepping in by faith. Fear has gotten the best of me and I dropped my eyes to look at the road, rather than keeping them locked with your gaze.

I also ask that if you have friends around you in difficult seasons, that you hold them up and show them the same grace we have received.

The Bible says in Exodus 17:10-12

So Joshua fought the Amalekites as Moses had ordered, and Moses, Aaron and Hur went to the top of the hill. As long as Moses held up his hands, the Israelites were winning, but whenever he lowered his hands, the Amalekites were winning. When Moses’ hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his hands up—one on one side, one on the other—so that his hands remained steady till sunset.

Aaron and Hur held Moses’ hands up because if they went down for any reason, the battle would be lost. This is the same act we should do for each other. You never know when someone might be on their last ounce of strength and when they need you to simply hold their arms up until the morning comes.

Don’t be so quick to judge when your people are not themselves. Life can be tough so let’s hold the arms up and win the battle as we stand right next to them.

Forever Dancing In His Love,

Leslie Tatiana

Good Shoes take you good places

If you haven’t noticed by all my OOTD’s on insta (@leslietatianap) I am a LOVER of shoes. A pair of cute shoes can turn my entire LIFE around. I am more of a heel type of girl but I will not fight any type of cute shoe! Especially in the summer and on #StreetStyle type days. This is officially my first ever fashion only post but that’s a little impossible for me so I’m combining my love for fashion and a little encouragement today.

Between my sweet mom and I, we have over 60 pairs of shoes and some of them, are over 10 years old because my mom is just that hip and amazing and takes care of things, unlike me. I am so excited to share with you my favorite Summer shoes. It was a really tough decision but I chose all the bright colors and comfy ones I love.
The Yellow Sandals are a new addition from JustFab and the perfect color for all things sun. I paired these with a white dress on Easter but I can’t wait to mix with other prints and colors this Summer. The chunky block heel makes it an easy choice because they are comfy enough to walk in and the open toe is perfect for hot days. $40 if you are a member. Sign Up Here!

These Teal Wedges are so dang CUTE!!! I tried looking for them to link them and I can’t find them anymore. But I love this bright, yet soft teal color. Don’t be afraid to try on a pair of shoes that look different because you might actually like them on. These are from Qupid. Take a look at their wedges. They are super cute and Summer ready!

When has Steve Madden ever failed you!?!? The correct answer is never! This is a pair we’ve had for at least 8 years now and they come in handy when I least expect! The heel is short enough to wear for long hours and check out that bow! This deep Teal is perfect to combine with other blues and greens.

Again, Steve Madden! These are the perfect pop of color to add to any outfit! Especially anything white. These again are over 7 years old but guess what!? I was able to find them on Poshmark & someone is selling them for $30. Size 7 & Size 6.5

You can never go wrong with a simple pair of brown wedges! I love these though because the straps are so unique and braided. Also, I would never have bought these because they have “too” much going but when I put them on, I fell for them lol These are super comfy, I can wear these all day! I bought them at Payless but found them for $10 on Poshmark! Size 8

Those are my favorite types of heels for the summer! Bright, comfy, and different! Be a little bold and choose the shoes you would never wear, you might actually love them. ❤

“How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of the messenger who brings good news, the good news of peace and salvation, the news that the God of Israel reigns!” -Isaiah 52:7

I LOVE this bible verse. It literally is telling you that the steps, the feet of those who bring good news are beautiful. This verse challenges me to be someone who not only carries good news daily, but someone who is constantly sharing peace and the truth of salvation- that Jesus died for our sins to save us and give us a new tomorrow. I choose to be a woman who is made up of this good news about Jesus, not just a 20 something year old with a fashion sense but nothing more to offer. Not only should you have cute shoes, but you should also walk in those shoes with such a purpose and such an authority that your entire atmosphere around you changes. Do you know the power you carry within you?! Be someone who carries good news, who changes the atmosphere in your group of friends, who walks in faith and not only in cute shoes, but in peace and salvation! Don’t you feel more powerful, more confident, more prepared when you have a cute set of shoes on your feet!? Well imagine that + carrying good news so that others can find the same joy!

Good shoes take you good places!

Forever Dancing in His Love.

with cute heels + good news,

Leslie Tatiana

Embrace the Mess

MAY 1ST YALL!

If you know anything about me- May 1st is my favorite along with May 30th, my birthday. Since my 18th birthday, birthdays have been a huge deal for me, both good and bad. I’m not kidding when I tell you that God always does something crazy in my life as my birthday comes up. I have learned so many lessons as each year passes and sometimes, I make them more difficult because…. HELLO?! Human. And other times, I simply ride the waves and accept the lesson. Nonetheless, I am in the middle of learning something now, and it’s no coincidence that my birthday is in 29 days.

I have been so overwhelmed with my mess. I look at the people around me, friendships, church family, social media, etc. and I think to myself “why can’t I be more like them? why am I such a mess?”

I am tired of trying to change myself to match others.

I know that life isn’t supposed to be all tears, all drama, all indecisive, but the truth is that is where I am, and that has to be okay because it’s temporary. It’s so hard to admit that you are not 100% okay and that you are still a little broken, still a little confused, still a little mess. But then why would I need God? The whole process of healing, of forgiving, of moving on, of letting go, of growing doesn’t happen over night. That’s why it’s called a PROCESS.

I was thinking all day yesterday about who I wanted to be this year, what I wanted to accomplish, what I wanted to let go of, what I wanted 23 to be about.

And I realized it’s so easy to try and change everything I hate about myself in 4 weeks, key word, TRY. But let’s be real…. I’m gonna be exhausted, still the same girl, and only bitter that I wasted my entire month. So instead, I am going to accept who I am, where I am at, and just focus on each day that passes, as I look to my goals. People around me are always challenging me, making me better, and correcting me so that I am the best me I can be. This isn’t a bad thing. But it is easy to get wrapped up in trying to be the best leader tomorrow, the ministry director at 3:00pm, pastor at 3:01pm. And I always want to speed up the process and just get it done already, but then I am reminded there is beauty is the whole thing, not just the destination.

So here are the things I struggle with. Filtered and controlled, they serve a purpose but regardless, I will choose to love myself where I am today.

I talk too much…. But this is such a gift because I will always have something to talk about & not be afraid to get on a mic and talk away. I am almost positive that others wish they could talk as easily as it comes to me.
I’m too intense…. but you will always know where I am, you will never have to doubt what I am feeling or where I stand because I will be very clear. I am passionate about everything I do and what a great way to live life, passionately.
I love too hard….. When did this become a bad thing?!
I can’t make up my mind about anything….. I am so creative and such a quick learner, I can have a million options on anything and what a beautiful thing to never be stuck.
I am too sensitive…. Which I am thankful for today because after everything life has thrown, what a beautiful reminder that my heart has not grown cold and hard.

These are just a few of the things on my heart. I’m sure there is more but instead of looking for more reasons to change myself, I choose to embrace where I am today and what I want to accomplish this year of 23. I cannot tell you how excited I am for this new year. It’s the middle of other huge ages like 21 and 25, but God can move, stretch, and grow anytime He desires.

I will embrace who I am this year. I will embrace my calling, the love God has for me. I will embrace my dreams, my friendships, my seasons, the waves, and run hard after who I was created to be. My life can be messy, chaotic, adventurous, all at once but I choose to embrace the mess.

Romans 10:10-11 says “With your whole being you embrace God setting things right, and then you say it, right out loud: “God has set everything right between him and me!” Scripture reassures us, “No one who trusts God like this – heart and soul – will ever regret it.”” (MSG)

I don’t know if you are having a birthday this month, but I do know that you too may struggle with accepting who you are, just like I do. I want to remind you that it is by grace, by faith you are saved. We embrace everything God is when we believe that He has the power to save us, and that fact continues as we grow and as He guides us to be who we are created to be. Change your perspective and allow those things you hate about yourself to be the very things that launch you into your destiny!

Just like scripture reminds us, no one who trusts God, heart and soul, will ever regret it.

Embrace the mess as you dance in His love.

xx,

Leslie Tatiana

| Wedges: JustFab (similar) | Jeans: Abercrombie & Fitch (similar) |

| Blouse: Forever 21 (similar) | Necklace & Shades: Charming Charlie |

10 One Word Messages

My phone vibrated ten times back to back and when I grabbed my phone, it was facebook messenger… my dad had sent 10 individual one-word messages just to ask me how I was doing which made me laugh. I don’t know much about him but I learned he doesn’t know how to type full sentences and instead sends one message at a time LOL

I wasn’t kidding when I wrote in previous blogs that I was in a constant journey of healing, & one of those processes is my relationship with my dad which is non-existent. I don’t lie when I say that I am working on it because I really am and transparency is so important to me for DYL. The fact that I have access to messages is because I opened up the line of communication and though it’s not healed, I’m trying, at my own pace and in my own time. This is huge right?! So I go to my texting app because I wanted to share with someone, “holyyyyy cow!!! look!!! *screenshot of messages*” but I had no one to text.

Not sure if you’ve ever been here, but my stomach was suddenly in my throat. I felt the familiar feeling of panic, of not being able to breathe…. only to realize I was holding my breath once again because that’s what I do to not feel the sting of whatever is hurting- this time loneliness. This monster invaded my mind, my heart, the atmosphere in my room and the rush caused my heart to beat faster, my hands to clam, and my mind to go 2,848,381 miles per hour.

I couldn’t reach out to anyone to share my progress and my big news. MY DAD WROTE TO ME AND SAID THIS AND SAID THAT AND ASKED ME THIS. But NO one.

Well, lie. I thought of the “hers” but I am not talking to her and she’s too busy with that, and she’s not going to understand because she doesn’t know this and she’s at work. And then I thought of the “hims” but he’s resting, and he shouldn’t be a choice, and I don’t want to bother him because I just spoke to him and I’m sure he’s busy. So yes, I thought of people to call but I didn’t feel peace calling anyone. I just needed to experience this for myself, give Leslie a moment to feel the pain, feel the excitement, feel the awkwardness, feel the anger.

It was MY moment.

Loneliness is sometimes God’s call for intimacy.

I have heard this way too many times but this was evident to me in this moment. I truly believe God wanted to teach me a few things in this moment and that wouldn’t have been possible if I would’ve ran to “she” or “he” instead of sitting in stillness and reflecting. I am not alone because He is always with me. The enemy could have had me in this moment and I could have let my emotions control me all day, stayed in bed, cried really ugly, ice cream, movie, sleep, etc. But I didn’t. Instead I ran straight to God, I was like okay God what are you trying to teach me? And I think this makes all the difference. The Lord allowed this moment for a reason and as I reflect now, it caused me to run to Him instead of running to someone else and not getting the reaction I expected and demanded. It’s always so difficult for me to run to God first because I want to be physically and emotionally comforted in that moment, when I want it. There are so many beautiful moments that could be shared with Jesus first if I would simply slow down and think. My dad… that’s not an easy topic for me and though I am able to talk about it now (progress!!!) I cannot put myself in a vulnerable position to share that with just anyone. I have to guard my heart and therefore, Jesus is always the best first choice.

Placing my hope in people will always hurt me.

I also realized how much I depend on people, which is not a bad thing, except for when it keeps me from getting to God. I want to be in the middle of everything, to be loved by everyone, to write amazing blogs about everything I learn, to be in every ministry possible, and have my hands in all things…. but reality is that when I do all these things, it leaves no room for me and God. I stop dancing with God because I am attempting to catch every other song and routine I hear around me. And in the end I get hurt. People can’t satisfy me and people will fail me, just like I fail them. And to avoid this ridiculous bar I have for people to be everything I need them to be, my hope needs to be anchored in God.

I’m sure you have been here before. Maybe all you desire is to have close friends you can run to when situations turn upside down. This is not bad. We were created to have relationship, with both God & other humans. But Jesus must always be in the center of it all. The moment anything or anyONE else becomes something you seek more than Him, then there’s a problem.

I have a desire to be loved and accepted by everybody and they mommas. And this people pleasing characteristic in me causes me to run everywhere else except to His presence. To be honest, people will always fail us. They will be too busy, too caught up, too tired, too annoyed, and that’s okay because we’ve all been there.

But God…. Oh boy is He different. He doesn’t grow tired of your rants. He doesn’t get bored when you tell Him the same story again. He is never too busy to catch your tears, to surround you with His presence as you let it all out. And the best part, He will never walk away.

Praying that if you are feeling alone you can find rest in His presence. May He satisfy that emptiness you feel. He can do it and He does it with gladness. You can place your full confidence in Him because He, unlike me and unlike Man, will never fail you.

Dancing in Your love,

Leslie xx

| Kimono Style Cardigan: Kohls (Similar) | White Seamless Tank: JCPenney |

| Boyfriend Jeans: HM (Similar) | Oxfords: Dolce Vita (Poshmark Sale) |

5 ways to attract Quality

Ladies.

Quality attracts quality. No not just in relationships, although it applies, but in everything you do. If you want the best of the best, you have to carry yourself in such a way that allows you to receive that. I am obviously a girl so I can only give you a girl’s perspective, but I always pray that this blesses you even if you are a gentleman, & though this particular one is directed to my ladies- guys you can learn a lot too 😉

Dress how you want to be addressed.

NO JUDGMENT ZONE OKAY!? But being treated like a lady and carrying yourself with a higher standard has a lot to do with how you dress. I love shorts and clothes and all things fashion but there is a line between fashion and being cute…. And just revealing your entire package to the world. You do not have to reveal everything you have to offer. The world does not need to know what your body looks like and how big how small…… etc. Being classy and acting like a lady means dressing like it too. I can’t expect people (not just guys) to respect me if I walk around dressed like I don’t have a mission, a calling, a greater purpose than just eye candy. Mmmm.

“Your dresses should be tight enough to show you’re a woman,

and loose enough to show you’re a lady.”

2. The words you speak, become the house you live in.

This is probably one the hardest ones for me out. I am impulsive, I speak when I want, i say what I want and I half the time don’t care how it comes across. But this isn’t always (most of the time) right. I truly believe that the tongue has the power of life or death and we do not understand the significance of it. I can create the atmosphere around me. I can tear or build others up. I can cause people to react to me a certain way because of how I speak of myself. My words, and yours, have that much power. Think of your life as the house…. What kind of house do you want to live in? Do you want one filled with drama, pain, low self esteem, negativity? Or do you want a house full of life, boldness, courage, love, and strength? A lady thinks of these things and plans her words well 😉

3. And you, you scare people because you are whole all by yourself.

You don’t need anyone to complete you, to survive, to pay your bills, to honestly…. Do anything. People should ADD to your life but should never be the reason you are alive and breathing. Part of being a lady is strengthening your ability to be independent. Of course I want to be loved the way I love, of course I like gifts and acts of kindness and all of it, but I don’t necessarily need it to be okay. I am well able to dream, grow, develop, and cultivate what I want from life all by myself. Anyone walking with me should ADD to that, not BE that.

4. A clean home is a happy home.

Literally & figuratively. I am in the process of getting rid of things in my room and in my home that I don’t use, (bc this is probably my longest lasting mountain LOL I will be working on this one till I die) It takes up space, makes it easier for me to make a mess out of more, and it’s clutter. I can’t tell you how stress- free it is getting into my car and not having a million and one things to sort through just to find my purse, or trying to remember where those cute shoes are. Such a waste of time and embarrassing!! Also…. Remember how your life is the home? Get rid of anything that is mess in your home, whether that is relationships, friendships, environments, habits, routines…. Whatever is not working- get rid of it.

5. Keep your heels, head, and standards high.

I LOVE HEELS, so yes. But on a serious note, those standards… This has happened to me so many times. I really liked a boy so I would forget everything I was taught, or everything I wanted to be. This is just ridiculous lol you don’t have to compromise your purity, your personality or your dreams for the sake of a significant other. NO. If he is the one for you, then guess what?! You won’t need to change your standards so they can catch up. They should already be running the race next to you, and if anything AHEAD of you, leading the way.

You will constantly be changing and growing. Your convictions will also change depending on your seasons and where you are in life. When I was in my teens, I was totally against shorts and bathing suits and all types of crazy strict dressing rules for MYself. And now that I am older, I love bathing suits and I will maybe wear a crop top. People are all different and not everyone will always agree, but my decisions are for me and for my circle of influence. Do the decisions I make today affect the girls who look up to me, my future daughters, and sisters across the nation? I truly believe they do and I would never want to cause people to question my beliefs, my dreams, or my calling as a lady. Obviously, you can’t please everyone!

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Carry yourself like you are worthy, like you have a purpose, and like you represent something bigger than yourself, because you do. The focus isn’t to attract a man, although that’s a plus(hallelujur), the purpose is to live a life of quality, one you can be proud of for genenrations to come.

Forever dancing in His love,

Leslie Tatiana ❤

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